Awake since 2 AM

My nerves are getting the best of me, I've been up since 2 AM...right this minute it is 3:45.  I have a long day ahead and I have only gotten 5 hours of sleep.


I'm so nervous...I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop...not that the first one has.  I find myself comparing everything to my previous pregnancies, each cramp, every symptom (or lack thereof), every change....I just wish there was a definitive way to know that everything is going to be fine.  I'm not handling this very well.


Don't get me wrong, I am still very excited.  Ask anyone that still sees the smile on my face all day long.  :)


I'm just scared....bloody terrified to be more specific.  I'm afraid that the next time I go to the bathroom I will see blood...just like before.  I'm afraid that I won't make it to my first real doctor appointment...just like before.  I'm terrified that we won't have good results at the ultrasound on 7/7...


Being pregnant is supposed to be joyous and exciting...