A Little About Why

Our numbers from Thursday looked great, just over 1300 - with a doubling time of about 51 hours (the doctors are looking for 48-72 hours doubling time at this point in the pregnancy.  Our first ultrasound is scheduled for 7/7.


I wanted to take a minute and share our reasons for talking about this pregnancy so early on because I know some people think it is crazy that we are doing so.  First of all, it would be painfully obvious for anyone following my blog if I just stopped talking about new cycles.  What would I say?  


As many of you know, we've suffered 3 early losses.  One of those losses was suffered alone and in silence. Nobody knew we were pregnant, which made it completely awkward to talk about it with anyone.  For my own health and mental well being, I can't do that again.  If something happens, I need to know that there are people out there who know what's going on and can be there in a moment of sadness or reflection, or who will understand if I just need time for me because they know what's going on.


The other reason, and the best one yet, is that I want to enjoy every minute of this pregnancy that I can.  As a Chatty Cathy, I can't do that in silence.  Again, if something happens, I want to know that I had the best time with the time I was given.  


On the outside right now, I am full of glee and excitement.  On the inside I am terrified.  There isn't an hour that goes by that I don't wonder if everything is still OK, if things are progressing like they should.  I have to have that excitement to keep myself in a good place.


Last, but not least, thank you all for the well wishes, congratulations, and mostly, the prayers.  I'm hoping that together we will bring a baby into this world about 8 months from now.