Day 2...

Dear friends and family ~ I don't remember if I told you this or not...but sometimes this blog is going to get personal.  Sometimes I will share things that people don't really care to know about...or you may see a side of me that you've never known...but it's all a part of the journey.  At any time you can choose to stop reading.  I thought about color coding things, but that was too complicated for me so you get what you get.  This is your final warning that you are going to get the real me all the time...no sugar coating...no filter...no secrets.  And...I do apologize in advance for any profanity that may slip past.  Love you all ~ Shanna


Be careful how you interpret the world:  It is like that.  ~Erich Heller


Today I am sort of bitter.  I don't understand why anyone needs to go through any of this to have children, and why some still can't.  I think that the world is sometimes cruel and ridiculous.


I believe with all my heart, that if I let these negative thoughts get in my head and my heart that I will create my own negative path, so...here is the turnaround.


If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.  ~Frank A. Clark


This journey is likely going to have it's ups and downs...and truth be told...I will have to exert tremendous effort to remain positive...but I will do it.  I am thankful for medical science and for the chance to keep trying to have a baby, even when it seems impossible.  I am thankful for a loving husband.  I am thankful that our families are supportive and that we have friends that truly understand what we are going through.  I am thankful that both the lab and ultrasound techs were awesome people to deal with today, and that our doctor is AMAZING!


I had labs done and gave away 4 tablespoons of blood today.  Not to mention, God knows how much money.  Brian's single blood test was almost $900!!!  HOLY SHIT!!!  (Thankfully, after insurance it is about 60% less - still almost $400 though...)  I had the same test...along with 5 other vials of blood.  I am sure (I hope) that the rest of them won't cost nearly as much.  The lab tech was AWESOME!  Can I request her every time?  I didn't even feel the poke, let alone her changing through all 6 vials to fill.  She was fantastic, and I told her so.  :)


The ultrasound wasn't bad...but a little odd when the tech announced in the hallway that if I was wearing a tampon I should remove it now.  ***blushing***  Wow...today humility goes out the window.  I give this man that did this ever so wonderful ultrasound LOTS of credit for being as cheerful a person as he is.  The whole thing was over in less than 10 minutes and was not bad at all.  In fact...I am SO excited for the next one!!!  (can you HEAR the sarcasm?)  


So, the good news (more like neutral, but we'll call it good since it's all we've got right now) is that we're starting meds on day 5 as planned and then the next lab and ultrasound are on 2/26.  I can hardly wait to drag myself out of bed early Saturday morning to venture out to the clinic and do this all over again...a few more times.  :)  If you're in town Saturday morning (the 26th) and would like to grab a coffee with me afterwards, give me a shout.  I'd love to get together.


Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.  ~Earl Nightingale


If there is one thing that really annoys me...it is that there is so much "down" time during this adventure.  I just want to take the medicine, insert sperm, and see if it worked.  Thank you, Mother Nature, for such a L O N G cycle.  


Off topic...but I wanted to share anyway ~ For Valentines day, my sweetie got me this really cool lotus blossom necklace:

Buddhists liken the unfolding of the lotus petals to the unfolding of the divine within the human self. The closed bloom represents the heart with its infinite potential for enlightenment; the open blossom represents the enlightened self.

In Buddhism the lotus blossom represents a heart opening. The lotus flower blooms on the surface of water, with its roots deep below in mud - making it a symbol of light and beauty emerging from darkness.

The lotus is the foremost symbol of beauty, prosperity and fertility. According to Hinduism, within each human inhabiting the earth is the spirit of the sacred lotus. It represents eternity, purity and divinity and is widely used as a symbol of life, fertility, ever-renewing youth and to describe feminine beauty, especially the eyes.