Thank You, Friend

Sometimes, we have the fortune to find a friend that impacts our life in insurmountable ways.  I am happy to say, I have one of those friends.


She loaned me a book.  Not just any book though, the most important book any person could give me at this point in my life.  Wow...that's a pretty important book.

The Last Lecture

Randy Pausch

Professor, Carnegie Mellon with Jeffrey Zaslow

I am not going to tell you what the book is about, but I am going to tell you what the book did for me.  If you are curious and want to know what the book is about, read it.


This book helped me learn some important things about myself.  It didn't get in my face and tell me these things, but it helped me to find them in self reflection as I read the book and applied some of the lessons.  Even when life seems hard, it could be worse.  I realized that I need to get over myself and the pity party that I have been hosting for far too long.  I learned that sometimes I should just enjoy the ride, to appreciate everything and that what I have in my life right now is all I really need.  I learned that no matter what happens on this journey, I will be ok.  If this journey does not result in biological children, I will be ok.  If we never have any children, I will be ok.

Wait...what?

Yes.  You heard me right, if we never have children, I will be ok.  Now, before you get all in my face about not giving up and about staying positive, hear me out.  This is not me giving up.  This is me acknowledging that I can still have a very beautiful life with the man I love no matter what happens during our journey together.  Becoming parents is only a small piece of the life we have together.  I will still pursue having children, and will likely continue to put a tremendous amount of effort into building a family with the love of my life.  But, I no longer feel that I need children to be happy.  I have never been in a place where I could easily say that.  I truly used to feel that I was not complete without children and that it would be heartbreaking to me to not become a parent.  For a while I even felt as though I might be a failure as a woman if I couldn't produce a child.  Thankfully, I am past all of that.


This is a very different place than I was in even as little as 5 weeks ago.  It is a dramatic change, but a change that I embrace with an open heart.  It is refreshing to not be burdened by the stress and heartache any longer.  It is good to be able to smile every day and to be able to focus on being in love with someone so special to me.  I cherish waking up every day and being at peace over knowing that life will be what it is going to be, and being able to enjoy every bit of it.


My friend ~ thank you, SO MUCH, for being a part of this journey and for having such an impact on my life.  Not only did you borrow me a life changing book, but you laugh with me, listen to me and give me great advice.  I treasure our friendship much more than I will ever be able to express with words.  I am so grateful that we have been able to grow closer over the last few years, it's been amazing!